The night had matured around them, the final streaks of the warm reds in the sky disappearing as the cold settled in. Autumn was his favourite time of the year, he could almost taste the earth in the air, it brought upon him a strange feeling of calmness. Something he tried his best to summon in this moment.
“Most of the time.”, he replied into the space between them.
She let an ugly silence pass between them before she threw her head back in a fit of laughter.
A manic fit of uncontrollable laughter ripped through her body, it started from her steel-tipped toes and rushed past her core then escaped through her mouth in stilted puffs of air, making her feel light-headed.
She felt so hollow. Her mouth feeling parched from the laughter and their previous screaming match. Her limbs were exhausted and she suspected that her mind was too.
“You lied to me. You looked me dead in the eye and lied to me. What do expect me to do?” her eyes failed to look up at him as she let the words shoot out of her.
“I don’t know? Maybe for starters, not put a knife against my throat?” He said hesitantly.
In the moonlight, the blade glinted ever so gently, he even dared to say that it looked enticing.
She stared at the knife in question. It was not the first time she had felt its ridged base pressed up against her skin.
A breeze blew through the slit between them.
“I’m sorry.” The knife’s edge bit into his skin a little more. It was hungry, she was hungry. His eyes connected to hers, the fury bubbling up in her as she replayed those two words in her mind.
Some would call her desperate, but those who knew her better knew that it was just her past rearing it’s ugly head and demanding to have an audience with her life as it is now.
“I said I’m sorry, it’s just that I have never -”, The look she threw him, made him pause midsentence, she was terrifying, a beauty but terrifying no less.
She drew out a heavy sigh. The ground beneath them felt unsteady.
“I heard you the first time you said it.”
“Then why do you continue to say things that I do not want to hear.”
He flung his head forward, it startled both of them. She tried to yank her hand back, to pull the knife away from his throat but within a flash, his hand found hers and kept it right where it was.
“ Wh- wha what ar – are you doing?” She finally managed to stutter out, her eyes wide, searching his face.
The full edge of the blade was warmer than he expected. For a man whose mind ran a mile a minute, he felt oddly at peace. He drew a deep breath, fully aware of the warm stinging sensation radiating from his throat.
“This is something, I’m willing to die for and you may very well want to spill my blood after this. You walk around this world like you are a hindrance because you think people hate you. As if, at any given second we would disappear out of your life and that we don’t care for you.
Well listen here, and listen well because I’m not gonna let this blood spill for null.
I’m here to stay.
I said I’m here to stay til my very last breath.”