What happened.

image

photographer unknown

It had me at the throat.

It was anger I think. Anger that had me pulling at my shell, picking at the falsehood. Once I started peeling back at the pieces, I realized that I didn’t like them and one by one they repulsed me. I didn’t have to look far for the culprit, her eyes pierced mine and followed me in the mirror.

More anger, more tears and more denial. It didn’t make sense, here was a person that everyone loved and got along with but I hated her. I hated how she felt against my soul and how she didn’t quite fit. I hated how she held my words and how she suffocated my screams and dreams alike. My pleas, screams and even the quiet whispers that I released when I thought that someone – anyone – was listening were held hostage so wickedly by her.

Piece by piece, each concealed lie fell out, each more deviously conceived. In the end I wasn’t sure what killed me more, whether it was the mountain of pieces that lay next to me or the stranger that stared back at me in the mirror. I couldn’t handle it; more anger, more tears and more denial.

A pungent smell sat in the air. It invaded my nostrils and had my stomach reeling but what horrified me –  chilled me to the bone – was that it came from a corpse. I had killed me. There I was on the ground with glossy eyes, staring into the vast space of nothingness. Before I knew it, I was crashing and hurdling towards the earth and nothing could stop me or the sobs that ripped through my body.

I had killed myself and now I had to live.

Me VS all that I am not.

It isn’t easy to grow under the weight of all you’re supposed to be.

However I killed myself and I had to live,
Regardless of the fact that I was terrified.

candid
Adjective:
        truthful and straightforward; frank.

quasar

Astronomy

noun: quasar; plural noun: quasars

a massive and extremely remote celestial object, emitting exceptionally large amounts of energy, which typically has a starlike image in a telescope. It has been suggested that quasars contain massive black holes and may represent a stage in the evolution of some galaxies.

Welcome to Candid Quasar.
Light from Lita

Blighted Rock

Blighted Rock
An edition of Wavering Wednesdays

Did you say the stars were worlds, Tess?”
“Yes.”
“All like ours?”
“I don’t know, but I think so. They sometimes seem to be like the apples on our stubbard-tree. Most of them splendid and sound – a few blighted.”
“Which do we live on – a splendid one or a blighted one?”
“A blighted one.

Thomas Hardy, Tess of the D’Urbervilles

Light from Lita
See you soon

..

This is you, perhaps in another time.

This is you, perhaps in another time.

“You must understand.” he started, staring at the figure standing a few feet in front of him – dangerously on the edge of the curb.

Her fingers glided through the air to shield 
the glare from the sun. With the beating heat, her warm breath carried into his space.

“I don’t.” She craned her neck to the side, glancing at the cars that blurred
past them.

He took a step back, in the guise to lure her 
back to safety.

She didn’t bite.

“I thought that I meant something to you. 
That we were something.
Now you stand there like a broken record,
saying that I must ‘understand’ that ‘We are nothing’.
Now you must understand something… 
I don’t.”

He sighed.

Suddenly there, where he stood, flew an old 
African fly. It lazily buzzed its
way past him; peaceful and unaware.

“Far from home” he thought.

She was far from home and thought she 
could take up residence in his heart. Yet he 
feared what she may do. Whether she be any good – none of his previous  tenants were.

She drew a final breath and watched her reflection twinkle in his eyes as let  herself fall backwards.

A car, that she long forgot the name for, 
came barrelling towards her.
It cried out that she should redeem herself,
yet she welcomed the impending doom.
It’s wail became louder with each of their heartbeats combined.

It filled her.
It overtook him.

“I understand” the soft utterance  encompassed her, as he embraced her.

Lighter light from Lita
Keep your soul intact
See you soon.

Wavering Wednesdays.

Wavering Wednesdays is about introducing different sorts of writing forms.

Today : Excerpt from a book I never wrote.

                                  ^   Lone Wanderer  ^

His teeth had started to clatter. He couldn’t be sure whether it was the wind or creature that stood before him.

He stared into the glittering multitude that the creature’s eyes had become.

Words clawed at his throat, threatening to escape. His mind had became still, numbed by the creature.

The creature floated, causing a soft flutter of desire to electrify the air.

Suddenly, all to quickly, it touched him and burnt him to the core.

He was enchanted.
He was helpless.

Then the creature replied, her almost translucent hair cascading into patterned waves; drowning him into her hold.

“No, I do not love you. I could never love you like that but I still want to be friends.”

Then he shattered into oblivion.
Alone again.

Light from Lita
See you soon