Kadupul

You’re not a puzzle
no need to be pulled
– apart
then have your pieces
misplaced.

You’re a Kadupul
growing awkward and unknown
with a harsh exterior
in varying terrains

They can hold their rain
no invitation to your parade
not while you’re a –
Midnight Mircale
– blooming sans light
the rare, precious,
delicate, most desired
within all these vast lands

what they cannot ruin with their hands.

– Lita

(A Kadupul is the most precious, beautiful flower on this earth. What makes it priceless is that it blooms at night and it wilts before dawn.

Simply,
We are not the sum of what people see in us during the light, but rather what grows within us in our darkest hours and those who are deserving of us will get to see us in our greatest bloom.)

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Dissipate

A bite of sound
With words strung
To form statements
– I cannot.
Balancing perfection
with bravery and inception
Becoming daily torments

Brilliance interlaced
With doubts and fears
seconds from formation
It dies in own creation.

– Lita

[c] Sickeningly Sweet

Confession: I bought Girl Scout cookies, and then threw most of them away.

Sickeningly Sweet

street after my commute
eyes latch onto me
turn the block
my thoughts turn mute
racing against the clock
and they’re gaining on me.

quick fluttering steps
under flickering lights
futile; they’ve got me
– cornered.

“Would you like to buy our cookies?”

– Lita

(Confessions is an ongoing series centered around the basic human experience. The everyday things we think about and feel but don’t share due to society or fear of being ostracized from our inner circles.

Most confessions are taken off a thread on Reddit – If you happen to stumble upon your own confession and wish for me to take it down, please let me know.)

(Photo)

[c] Harboured Creation

Confession: I can feel my baby kick and I can’t tell anyone.

Harboured Creation

so tiny yet weighing heavily
you occupy so silently
yet your presence
echoes on each thought

17 weeks since creation
yet your kicks
put me in cardiac arrest.

with each passing week,
you round me out,
so I’ll harbour you the best I can,
prove that I’m not weak
– and deliver.

– Lita

(Confessions is an ongoing series centered around the basic human experience. The everyday things we think about and feel but don’t share due to society or fear of being ostracized from our inner circles.

Most confessions are taken off a thread on Reddit – If you happen to stumble upon your own confession and wish for me to take it down, please let me know.)

Shadowdancing Sans Light.

Shadowdancing Sans Light.

I take night walks
Like a reprisal from
The pill I find hard to swallow
– day.

In the shadows,
I find forgotten thoughts
Dance with the moonlight’s gaze fixated –
On me.
Like the stalkers they warn me against.

In the dead of the night,
The trees sing,
Telling tales of yesteryear
Burning up oxygen in their lungs.

In the night
I find the peace
That in daytime I can’t seem to lease.

– Lita

What happened.

image
photographer unknown

It had me at the throat.

It was anger I think. Anger that had me pulling at my shell, picking at the falsehood. Once I started peeling back at the pieces, I realized that I didn’t like them and one by one they repulsed me. I didn’t have to look far for the culprit, her eyes pierced mine and followed me in the mirror.

More anger, more tears and more denial. It didn’t make sense, here was a person that everyone loved and got along with but I hated her. I hated how she felt against my soul and how she didn’t quite fit. I hated how she held my words and how she suffocated my screams and dreams alike. My pleas, screams and even the quiet whispers that I released when I thought that someone – anyone – was listening were held hostage so wickedly by her.

Piece by piece, each concealed lie fell out, each more deviously conceived. In the end I wasn’t sure what killed me more, whether it was the mountain of pieces that lay next to me or the stranger that stared back at me in the mirror. I couldn’t handle it; more anger, more tears and more denial.

A pungent smell sat in the air. It invaded my nostrils and had my stomach reeling but what horrified me –  chilled me to the bone – was that it came from a corpse. I had killed me. There I was on the ground with glossy eyes, staring into the vast space of nothingness. Before I knew it, I was crashing and hurdling towards the earth and nothing could stop me or the sobs that ripped through my body.

I had killed myself and now I had to live.

Me VS all that I am not.

It isn’t easy to grow under the weight of all you’re supposed to be.

However I killed myself and I had to live,
Regardless of the fact that I was terrified.

candid
Adjective:
        truthful and straightforward; frank.

quasar

Astronomy

noun: quasar; plural noun: quasars

a massive and extremely remote celestial object, emitting exceptionally large amounts of energy, which typically has a starlike image in a telescope. It has been suggested that quasars contain massive black holes and may represent a stage in the evolution of some galaxies.

Welcome to Candid Quasar.
Light from Lita