Bingo

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Bingo

Grey hair
Pollutes my mind,
Stems itself in my thoughts
Thoughts I can’t remember.
The words are sucked up
Something is sucked up
Grey hair
I can’t remember
I need to pee

Grey hair
Steals my memories
Tomorrow left today
I can’t remember
Something is stolen
Who are these faces
I need to pee

Grey hair
Takes what’s left of me
My bed is wet – it’s warm.
I can’t remember something
Grey hair
I’m cold
I can’t remember anything.

– Lita
(Panicked)

Precocious Bloom

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PRECOCIOUS BLOOM // SOURCE : TUMBLR

Precocious Bloom

Flowers grew in her backyard
She called them pretty
With a foreign roll of her
Tongue

Flowers grew in her backyard
She pulled me to the back
Hands winding
Round
Me

Flowers grew in her backyard
She called me a man now
Said – men take flowers from
Girls like her

Flowers grew in her backyard
With boyish hands and
Hesitance,
I picked them.

– Lita

Dying might save your life.

“Whether you can or cannot, you’re right.”

Flavoured Mist.

Flavoured Mist Source – Tumblr

It’s been a 134 days as of today (16 April 2017) since I’ve sat down with the intention of ‘publishing’ here. I won’t lie and say that I didn’t open this screen more times than I wish to admit, stumbling through sentences; hoping to make something that spoke to me.

So back from the dead, these are 4 things that I learnt:

1.People are ticking time bombs and while some are grenades, it’s the nuclear bombs you should fear.

Humour me, open your chats and call log.

Who do you speak to the most just because?

There’s your bomb. If they ceased to be there right in this second, would you disintegrate? Are you still standing? How much damage did they leave behind and were they worth it?

Watch yourself with others, don’t become a minefield.


2. Screw what people say, if you think it’s right then it is.

Whatever decisions you make, what you say or wear even what you eat is right so long as you feel that way. You get 24 measly hours a day and to have something haunt you whatever part of the day is a waste of time. Honey you’re golden and that’s all that matters.

3.Please isn’t a magic word – Hello is.

You need capital, advice, transport or the best pizza joint’s number. Google isn’t the best way to get it. You see that person who stood in line behind you? He knows that pizza joint. That woman you passed yesterday? She looking for people who are looking to start a business that she can help fund. You walk past opportunities everyday and you should shoot yourself in the foot for it.

4. Breathe, and do the shite you like.

Remember those measly 24 hours? Well I like writing my crappy poetry and even crappier pieces with it. It makes me happy, so does hopelessly falling in love with everyone and thing around me. I happen to like my weird music and love dancing to it too. I might not know how to cook like a normal person but when I don’t burn, my food is pretty bomb so I’ll enjoy that too. Crying feels good and so does pooping. Having an unpopular opinion doesn’t make you wrong. Life is a compilation of too many 24 hours and too little things we like – so do the shite you like and breathe.

Doing shite she likes,
Lita.

What happened.

image

photographer unknown

It had me at the throat.

It was anger I think. Anger that had me pulling at my shell, picking at the falsehood. Once I started peeling back at the pieces, I realized that I didn’t like them and one by one they repulsed me. I didn’t have to look far for the culprit, her eyes pierced mine and followed me in the mirror.

More anger, more tears and more denial. It didn’t make sense, here was a person that everyone loved and got along with but I hated her. I hated how she felt against my soul and how she didn’t quite fit. I hated how she held my words and how she suffocated my screams and dreams alike. My pleas, screams and even the quiet whispers that I released when I thought that someone – anyone – was listening were held hostage so wickedly by her.

Piece by piece, each concealed lie fell out, each more deviously conceived. In the end I wasn’t sure what killed me more, whether it was the mountain of pieces that lay next to me or the stranger that stared back at me in the mirror. I couldn’t handle it; more anger, more tears and more denial.

A pungent smell sat in the air. It invaded my nostrils and had my stomach reeling but what horrified me –  chilled me to the bone – was that it came from a corpse. I had killed me. There I was on the ground with glossy eyes, staring into the vast space of nothingness. Before I knew it, I was crashing and hurdling towards the earth and nothing could stop me or the sobs that ripped through my body.

I had killed myself and now I had to live.

Me VS all that I am not.

It isn’t easy to grow under the weight of all you’re supposed to be.

However I killed myself and I had to live,
Regardless of the fact that I was terrified.

candid
Adjective:
        truthful and straightforward; frank.

quasar

Astronomy

noun: quasar; plural noun: quasars

a massive and extremely remote celestial object, emitting exceptionally large amounts of energy, which typically has a starlike image in a telescope. It has been suggested that quasars contain massive black holes and may represent a stage in the evolution of some galaxies.

Welcome to Candid Quasar.
Light from Lita

Seasick

Seasick

“There are plenty of other fish in the sea”
so she left him hooked,
breathless in a foreign land.

                  moving against currents,
ignoring the warnings of his fellows
away from the safety of the deep below
his mind swims to the edge
        – unaware and baited
he waited
only to get caught.

so she left him hooked
within her being
and left him gasping for air
in a foreign land

.


Light from Lita
See you soon

Indiscretion

Indiscretion

tenderness bruised in
rushed kisses
with chapped lips
drinking ravenously at the neck,
couldn’t get enough of it
– the quickening pulse –

Eyes gleaming in the moonlight
moving fast with fumbling fingers
tracing all the curves and dips
it hastily discovers.

Light from Lita
See you soon.